It’s 2018, and Britney Spears still has a career.
If you’d made that prediction eleven years ago at the peak of Bald Britney-mania, you would’ve been shunned from society and forced to spend your remaining days in the mountains, shearing alpacas, or something.
Yes, the simple fact that Britney is alive, healthy, and continuing to make millions is downright remarkable.
Still, there are those who expect more from her.
They’re not satisfied by the fact that Brit has full custody of her kids and is no longer under the sway of either a psychiatric hold or the wizard-like manipulator the neighborhood children called the Federline.
These people see fit to criticize the divine Ms. Spears for such minor offenses as “not actually singing at her concerts.”
The nerve of these ingrates!
Yes, Britney rang in 2018 on the confusingly-titled Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve With Ryan Seacrest, and sure she didn’t actually sing, but at least she didn’t just stand around asking for hot tea.
But apparently, some folks on Twitter haven’t gotten the memo that Britney has officially reached Mariah-level icon status, which means she can spend the rest of her days just showing up places and being paid to do literally nothing.
The same haters and losers who want Donald John Trump to stop tweeting and govern also want Britney to stop being fabulous, and … sing.
“Performing” at the Planet Hollywood Resort & Casino in Las Vegas, Britney moved around on stage to the tune of “Work B-tch” and “Toxic.”
And sadly, she began the year by being savagely corn-cobbed on Twitter.
“Oh great, Britney is going to mime AND lip sync another song for us,” tweeted one blasphemer.
“I think they should just put a cardboard cut out with a musical recording of Britney Spears singing. All she does now is seemingly lip sync. #RockinEve Britney,” remarked another.
Who does @britneyspears think she’s fooling? If your dance moves aren’t the same as 2006, clearly your vocals wouldn’t be either…. good try though. #RockinEve,” echoed a third betrayer of the queen.
Yes, folks, it seems you can go take your hopes for a better and more just world in 2018 and toss them right in the trash.
Here’s hoping the universe will be more appreciative of Britney’s terrible lip-syncing in 2019.